In my previous post, I shared my 20+ year struggle with my relationship with food. Today, I will share how I began to heal.
I can look back and see that there were a few marked turning points. One was when I had children. I have two beautiful and impressionable little girls. They stole my heart the second they were born. I wanted to figure this out so that they don't ever have to struggle in this way.
Having children motivated me to educate myself on nutrition and I gradually began to change what I ate. I started adding in lots of vegetables and other whole, real foods into my diet causing the unhealthy foods to fade away with time. My health coaching program helped me figure out exactly what my unique, individual body needed to thrive and I tweaked my diet accordingly. When I look back on the days when I was struggling the most, I can see that I was continuously setting myself up for failure. Eating highly addictive foods which were void of nutrients my body desperately needed. I was essentially overfed but undernourished.
Another turning point occurred once I began to see the struggle as a teacher. I became a student and received the most valuable education I have ever had. I started to just let the binges come knowing that they were here to teach me something. I got to know that voice inside my head and became aware of all the stories that voice told. I learned to challenge the truth of that voice and the validity of those stories. And the more I learn, the better I feel, and the more at peace I become.
And probably one of the biggest shifts is still happening today. I am learning to restore the connection with myself. I am figuring out the concept of self-love and self-worth. I know that these are things that cannot be measured externally - they must come from within.
This journey is helping me become my best self. It is moving me toward my authentic self. I see that now. I was asleep for a very long time. Using food to cope, to numb, and to escape turning inward. But I am awake now. I am becoming conscious. I am becoming aware. And each day I am moving toward becoming the woman I know I am supposed to be.
I wanted to start this blog off by telling you where I’ve been so that you can see how I have struggled. Some of you may struggle in a similar way and some of you may have completely different struggles. But the points is, we all struggle. We all struggle to find ourselves, to find our voice, and to speak our truth. And there is absolutely no shame in struggle. In fact, there is so much beauty in the struggle should we choose to see it.