The Answer You Give This Question Has the Power to Shift Everything

One of my weird little quirks is that I like to listen to battle music and write motivational speeches in my head. I do this when I’m at the gym. In the car. Sometimes even while I’m washing dishes or folding laundry. Anyone who has ever taken one of my cycle classes has been on the receiving end of this quirk as these speeches often transpire into my coaching cues.

They usually reflect something that I am working on within myself and serve as a strategy to help me navigate fear and uncertainty. As well as offer a re-frame in those times when I get caught up in my head. Which still happens to be A LOT.

I tell you this because what I want to share with you today stems from one these battle music speeches. And it goes something like this:

Is this happening to you?


Is this happening for you?

The answer you give has the power to shift everything.

a question to improve mindset.jpg

I learned an incredibly valuable lesson when I was struggling with food, weight, and body image. A lesson that came after years of body shaming. Years of yo-yo dieting. And years of binging and hiding the evidence. And it’s the understanding that our struggles, obstacles, and challenges have purpose.

Food taught me this. I remember the day I began actively choosing to see my struggle differently. It was after I came across an article written by Marc David, the founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, discussing how our struggle with food can be one of our greatest teachers.

I felt that message resonate deep within. And so I proceeded to do what helps me move information from my head and drop it deep into my heart - I created a battle music speech. It took this idea that the challenges we face are really gifts in disguise. Gifts to create more self-awareness. Gifts to develop our inner strength and fortitude. Gifts to improve our character.

And even though I’ve made tremendous strides in healing my relationship with food, I still encounter challenges and hurdles. Especially as a mama entrepreneur wanting to take a very heart-centered approach to business and make an impact while trying to figure out how the heck to make something from nothing.

But when it comes to life’s trials and tribulations, I’ve learned to look through a different lens and inquire:

Is this happening to me? Or is this happening for me? Understanding that the answer I choose has the power to massively shift my perspective and change my experience.

  • Parenting challenges: to me or for me?

  • Relationship struggles: to me or for me?

  • Financial stress: to me or for me?

  • Uncertainty around my business: to me or for me?

  • Fear about putting myself out there: to me or for me?

Every time I answer for me, it allows me to move to an empowered place where I can embrace the idea that I am still evolving. Where I can understand that I am constantly learning and becoming stronger. And that struggle and obstacle are simply invitations for more growth.

Every time I answer for me, it is an act of surrender. It is a knowing that I am always on my right path. Even when I don’t know how it will all work out.

Every time I answer for me, the need to fix it lifts. The need to rush clarity lifts. And the understanding that the answers will reveal themselves at exactly the right time sets in.

It is an acceptance of what is and a knowing that things are unfolding precisely as they should. It allows me trust, believe in the unseen, and continue on my path of becoming a better version of me.

In the words of the great Wayne Dyer:

“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you’ll see obstacles.”

I will leave you with a snapshot of the album cover to one of my all time favorite battle music artists. Many “speeches” have been choreographed to these tunes. The image is powerful for me on so many levels and has secured a spot front and center on my vision board. It helps me remember the truth of who I am and reconnect to the knowing it will all work out in the end.


And please know this is not meant to trivialize your experience of struggle. Not at all. It is simply to share what helps me navigate my tough times in an effort to support you through yours.

Here’s to seeing opportunities and all that we are.